FLip thru yongz bloggy..
See his post...
And he recommanded some Blogger..
Linda Chia (http:www/lindachia.blogspot.com)
Really feel tt her post is s ..TRUE~ =
Letting Go Of Hurt
by: Linda Chia
It is so much easier to have been hurt, and not recover since, then to let the hurt go.
The hurt could have been from anything - a careless remark/action from a loved one, or the lack of loving remark/action from a friend when one is down, or built up, layer by layer, through a series of events over time.
Sometimes, the hurt could have transmuted in the process, morphing into anger, disappointment, resentment, contempt, or disillusion. Or all of them.
And then you give up.
You give up on the friendship.
You give up on the romantic relationship.
You give up being your father's son.
To me, in the context of the human race, it's all about the loving relationship between 2 parties, though it is called by different names.
We call the love for friends "friendship".
We call the love of a significant other "romance".
We call the love for family "kinship".
We call the love for the unfortunate "compassion".
Despite its many names, the grandeur of the love in the relationship automatically pales when hurt creeps in.
Suddenly, your friend doesn't seem to know you so well anymore.
Your lover's actions are filled with suspicion in your eyes.
Your sister can't seem to be counted on as an ally.
The unfortunate doesn't seem as deserving (case in point: NKF).
We flinched, and stepped away, and withdrew part of that love, so it would hurt less. All the while holding the hurt in our hearts.
Take a step back, and really think. Was it really that bad?
Sure, when the hurt happened, the feelings were real. Rightly or wrongly, logically or illogically, reasonably or unreasonably - we feel the hurt, and the sting of the pain was very real.
But I took a close look at myself.
After suffering the same unhappiness for some time, I have come to realise that the only thing that is haunting me, is ME.
I did not let go of the hurt.
Replaying the scene and the unkind words in my head like some sorta twisted masochist, I revisited my pain.
I poured out the injustice to some friends, hoping to find comfort and maybe even pity - only to re-affirm the same awful feelings of disillusion again in my heart.
With hurt in my eyes, I looked at the person who had unknowningly inflicted the pain, hoping she would see it and I would get validation.
Stroking the wound when the world had gone to bed at night, I held it close for company, wallowing in its exquisite pain, and sobbing pitifully over it.
It's all destructive.
The pain had been inflicted once, and the incident could have even been long forgotten by the perpetrator, but it was ME who held onto it. Haunting and hurting myself, over and over.
Of course, it is very very difficult to let go.
Sometimes, we need our feelings validated to help us move forward. Sometimes, even an apology doesn't help, because the pain was so much. When I look at my dad, I know he carries the hurt from my mum still, 15 years on. Still refusing to let go. And hurting himself with it all this time.
But who was it that said "To err is human, to forgive, divine"?
Very cliched, but very true.
Today, I've decided to let my hurt go. I know that when I look at my beloved friend in the eyes again, I will be seeing the wonderful person that I love, not the horrible person who caused me pain.
It will be the love I hold onto this time.
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