DROWN by Mother F*cKer

38 days more to FUNKAMANIA

In quite a HElpless Mood nw..
ARGH!!
tt Song~~!!
Bully mi ~~
T_T

I still can't figure out hw to remove the vocal ..* infact i did .. but the song got distorted *
Sian ~~
use Beat to cover also cnanot.. Cos Quality Diff...
ARGH! * scream ..* * Put hair*

HELP! *wave*
I need HELP Serious HELP!! from some PRO !!
Or u got fren PRO in Music Mixing or can take out vocal from Song.. tell mi ~~
I seriously Hate tt "Mother F*cker* ...
the song rox.. but nt tt WORD!

and .. my desktop is.. FULL of installer.... ~~
for Music mixing .. So luan!!
hahaha...

AGH!!!!
TIRED *

Lacking of time ...

39 days to funkamania ..
totally nt enough prac -_-'''
haiX

STRESS is in my head ..
Opss Ok la.. today dun feel really good ..
So .. short entry here.. and LONG entry over to other blog...
Pai sei~ =P

And one more thing .. :" Sorry ariel .. really dun mean to Bad atittude u juz nw" =)
pai sei~

To my "beloved" haoyong .....LOL!!

Was So BORE nw..
see see Friendster

QIAO~
kekeke..
So cute..
Suddenly ..
I realise.... Ihaven got "KELLY" pan jia li"
Video From the Freesylte comp ...from Skye ~~

-_-''''
muz be wondering y i wan get tt from skye ??
cos ..wo shi wei da de ren ..
Is damn shameful ..
to Video damn Kelly Singing ...tt day..
xiao pang was looking at mi ..like a retard -_-'''

BUT IS OK!!
Qiao like ~~
hahahahahahah!!
Muz remember to get it then can send him ...
BUT!!
Si HAOYONG!
U sux!
U LOUSY FREN~~
Damn Erixin GUY!
U ...!
NV~~!
TELL MI!! WHEN HE IS _______________________

*u get wat i mean*
if He ______________- b4 i can send him tt...
U R DEAD!!
MuahahahahahH!

then No moRe video - Pic for u !of _ _ _
Muahahah!!
nisi ding le !!

And ya... Stop the crap about Qiao~
later he see my Blog then tt it ~~~
nv know Wat tt JIAN!! Hao yong willdo ~~
he's JIAN!!
hahah..

Kinda need CRAZY post to De stresss As i have mention in the Morbid BLOG~
hahaha>> this is the crazy one .. all crap and shit.. think i gonna change Name Le..
this one like sad de.. Which i wont be postiung all those inner Feeling stuff here..
cos...
hahaha i DUN WAN~
=P

And YA!
Si ding ..
Samsung having LAUNCH agaiN!
TA MA DE!
can't they give mi a break in DEC?
LOL....
Wah liao!!
SCREW mi upside down ...
sian !
AH!!
aND .. TT'S ABOUT IT...
for today ....
Hehehe..
Haoyong .. i luv u .. but i luv qiao more.. =) dun jealous ..
knwo hw i know ?
cos ni tou pai wo ~~
kekeke...

hahahah ... U DUN SAY i JIAN or wat..
say wat got 2 blog ....!
Pi La...
GEMINI ma..
got 2 side..
this side is siao siaio /crap crap de..
other is Sad sad / sian sian de ..
so ...
hMmmm..
but a bit strange hor..
nw type happy happy thing.. .then later go other side type sad thing..?
Lol~
think dun Entry together..
later u all WhO know 2 add >>confuse about my mood ..hahahaha!
then Joke with mi when i Feel bek che,., then ..
die lor u all ~ HAaahaha!
BORED! can make mi turn to this ...

really bored ..
today bored..
yesterday ALSO!!
basicly ...I got NO LAPTOP to use..
ok got la.. about 15 mins lor!
cos DOU bring my charger home..wah liao!
then i cannot charger my laptop .. then no batt .. then cannot use..
PC .. is my bro using ..
then I Sometimes ask to use for like 1 hr like tt..
cos he playing game la,...
then if i use too long he bek che ..
then ..die lor..
WAtch TV lor!
somemore.. SUNDAY TV./..So sian ..
I watch Sea geams Highlight -_-'''--> Wah karate got bronze leh~ hahaha .. i know tt gal ..* high for wat ???* hMmm..
then i watch Zhong yi da ge da ...
then ...Later..... watch WU jian dao 2 .....
then later watch le.. watch NEWS ...
then ...
laterr...............
hMmmm anyhw Siwtch channel ..
SIAN!
then later i go sleep ..hahahaAfter watching Wo he jian shi you ge yue hui 3 ...
BORED!

SMS ...also very little... LOL!!..less than 10 also!!
Cos yen yen nv reply mi ..
thenEnd up i bored i go sms plp good night sms ..
waste my sms ...
call Jitao DUN HAVE!! *sad*
wah liao .. i macvham got CUT off from the world le..
HEY plP call mi .. i got free incoming ! hahahah

Wah ..nowadays the ren yuan really bad..
cannot ar.. if this continued..
i will be loner le..
wah kaoz? *thought i'm one?"
LOL!
hMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
hungry leh..
but .. still bored!!

Just Another Entry

FLip thru yongz bloggy..
See his post...
And he recommanded some Blogger..
Linda Chia (http:www/lindachia.blogspot.com)

Really feel tt her post is s ..TRUE~ =
Letting Go Of Hurt
by: Linda Chia


It is so much easier to have been hurt, and not recover since, then to let the hurt go.

The hurt could have been from anything - a careless remark/action from a loved one, or the lack of loving remark/action from a friend when one is down, or built up, layer by layer, through a series of events over time.

Sometimes, the hurt could have transmuted in the process, morphing into anger, disappointment, resentment, contempt, or disillusion. Or all of them.

And then you give up.
You give up on the friendship.
You give up on the romantic relationship.
You give up being your father's son.

To me, in the context of the human race, it's all about the loving relationship between 2 parties, though it is called by different names.
We call the love for friends "friendship".
We call the love of a significant other "romance".
We call the love for family "kinship".
We call the love for the unfortunate "compassion".

Despite its many names, the grandeur of the love in the relationship automatically pales when hurt creeps in.

Suddenly, your friend doesn't seem to know you so well anymore.
Your lover's actions are filled with suspicion in your eyes.
Your sister can't seem to be counted on as an ally.
The unfortunate doesn't seem as deserving (case in point: NKF).

We flinched, and stepped away, and withdrew part of that love, so it would hurt less. All the while holding the hurt in our hearts.


Take a step back, and really think. Was it really that bad?


Sure, when the hurt happened, the feelings were real. Rightly or wrongly, logically or illogically, reasonably or unreasonably - we feel the hurt, and the sting of the pain was very real.


But I took a close look at myself.

After suffering the same unhappiness for some time, I have come to realise that the only thing that is haunting me, is ME.

I did not let go of the hurt.

Replaying the scene and the unkind words in my head like some sorta twisted masochist, I revisited my pain.
I poured out the injustice to some friends, hoping to find comfort and maybe even pity - only to re-affirm the same awful feelings of disillusion again in my heart.
With hurt in my eyes, I looked at the person who had unknowningly inflicted the pain, hoping she would see it and I would get validation.
Stroking the wound when the world had gone to bed at night, I held it close for company, wallowing in its exquisite pain, and sobbing pitifully over it.

It's all destructive.


The pain had been inflicted once, and the incident could have even been long forgotten by the perpetrator, but it was ME who held onto it. Haunting and hurting myself, over and over.

Of course, it is very very difficult to let go.
Sometimes, we need our feelings validated to help us move forward. Sometimes, even an apology doesn't help, because the pain was so much. When I look at my dad, I know he carries the hurt from my mum still, 15 years on. Still refusing to let go. And hurting himself with it all this time.


But who was it that said "To err is human, to forgive, divine"?

Very cliched, but very true.


Today, I've decided to let my hurt go. I know that when I look at my beloved friend in the eyes again, I will be seeing the wonderful person that I love, not the horrible person who caused me pain.

It will be the love I hold onto this time.

LAZY UPdates!! LOL!

• dunno hw to cheer plp up nw..
• wishing for everyone to be happy secrectly..
• hated "mother fucker"
• hate towel "mao"
• Cold weather sHioK
• Where's qiao ? =(
• Got no time left... onli 44 days !!
• No "mo qi" in group..
• UnhappY!Stress!!
• Proud ? am i ? did i ? WTH?

*BTW .. the pic of the dog is taken on a MRT train ~~ DOG on MRT.. first time i see... DAmn Cute / Guai~~ but his owner is a blind person .. Doggy take care of him ... so guai~~

=)

Feels good today =)

the sky is beautiful in the night..
Nv realise it.. till today ..
the moon , the stars..
totally rox =)

yea!

i'm tired..still
work sux this few days..
I need a break .. I wan take MC .. i wan take off..
I hate samsung launch!!
ArGH!

Nv talk so much since then .....=)

Productive day..

when Jazz technique today ..
FIRST one to reach leh ..
a bit proud ..

i really sux in Jazz Technique..
sux..
gonna improve slowly on this if i wanna be a better dancer..
my stretching sux too.
sux ..

Machi .. xiao pang zhi (wilbert)
really made our day in the class.
he's JUZ so CUTE! lol
make the class so lively ..

After class. ann see the BAttalion~
give us new music + chero ..
nice..
Mi / rino / sarah / qian hui / sam
the 5 of us really Make up a productive training today..
i like ..
we Really TRAINED!

After tt went down to youth park .. to support NRa team ..
and ya..
MUMMY"S GALS woN! the champioN~
nice...

=)

after tt .. go home .. while the others go clubbing..
no $ to club ..
hai~
and .. clubbing really till a bit sian..
hey YOngz.. Where's my Eski bar?

MeOW!! *bite*

was chatitng with Joyce..
she kana bite by cat sia..
ke lian ..
but.. i think is funny..
kana bite by cat.. kekeke

Makes mi think of my neighbour cat ..
Everynight walked pass the playground..
the usual place...
confirm 1 cat will be there..
tt GREY cat...
the one i like most..

the nite is quiet ..
will look into the dark ..
and play with the cat.. sit down beisde it..
kinda dangerous ..
cos normally is about 12am ++++ le
still sit at playground alone ..with onli a CAT
around ..

but .. the feeling is good ..=)
can zhi bi ..
can think ..
can reflect ...
no one is around u ..
the night is so Quiet ..
silent makes mi feel so ............Shu fu ..
anyway .. i nv kkana biten by cat b4..
onli stupid Rabbit -_-'''

cat onli bite my bro ..
kekekek ..
i think i Xian hai him..when we were young ..
Was playing Paper aeroplant..
then my paper.. areoplant .... flew and hit the cat tail ..
i asked my bro to take for me... *cos i scare*
lOL!
then when my bro go take...
MEOW*..... the Cat scratch him ..LOL!!
kekekekek ...

Hmmm...
cat's fun leh..
SHit.. speaking of cat..
my 1000 piece CAT puzzle..
i still haven touch yet..
haizz.. lazy ....

The real me ..crawls out in the night

Back again..

is tt word again ..
ISOLATION~

Sometimes wondering ..
y would i feel like this ..
i dunno ..
it juz came back and pay mi a visit..

Really feel like TrasHing things out..
it has been stuck there for too long ..
but ..
can i say things out ?
who can i say to ?
I guess no one for nw ba ....

Since tt day ......

I'm Just A Kid - Simple Plan


I woke up it was 7
I waited 'till 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think I have got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone
When you're spending everyday on you own
And here it goes

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that its not fair
Nobody cares
Cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me tonight
And maybe when the night is dead
I'll crawl into my bed
I'll staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time
I had good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes

What the hell is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever

Tonight I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause I'll just a kid tonight

The More u dun wan .. the more it happens..

Went see Mummy's gal on Sunday ..
Alex 's Team , Von' team , Allegra team ....
BooM! ...
suddenly His team POP out.. DIAOZZ!

Wo BU Xiang Kan Dao ni !
BUT~~
Suprisingly ..
dun feel anything..
juz another dancer..
jess when crazy over his group -_-'''
i see a "history" of me..
haha...

come to think of it.. pretty silly ..lol
but.. is quite a sweet memory la.. keke..
ya... getting back ..

panic mi .. saw his team walking..
wat i did ?
HIDE ..
if got tree.. i would hide behidn the Tree..
nw no Tree..
only got Human,....
of cos i hide amoung the human ..
and yea..
hide - > purpose is so tt he won't see me ma..
and yea~ i did it.. he nv see me..
but i se him clearly..
he dance also juz in front of me... Right in my face..

but no regret nw leh..
last time .. when i see him .. if i nv go up and take a pic / talk to him..
tt's some kind of "REGRET" in my heart..
nw i dun even feel it..
Walking pass him ... also nv say hi .. i also won't feel regret..
seriously..
wat will he do if we meet each other??
maybe juz a "hi " .. juz a smile ..
nothing much le..
so ..wat can i get from tt ?
LAst time will feel 'Xin fu"
nw .. Pi la !
xin fu ge pi ...
Anyway ..
I survived thru tt ..

wonder if she survived tt ?
hahahh..
nv ask...
cos we'r nt open to each other ..

I'm already nearly Steping out of the world with him around ..
he's nothing to me nw..

of cos.. joke is still around .. he's still a fren and ex instuctor ..
cannot dao ..
hahaha

Jia Yao Ming = lau Gek how !
He Steal Duck Drumstick !
and got a Enthu Face ..
He scolds mi Crazy ! .....
i scold him back ..
So normal nw..
and i 'm glad ..
no special treatment..

....we still passerby frens .. who says Hi and bye .. ! =)
END of story and Nothing else..

juz 2 plp in 2 different world ..
I stick to my world. . he stick to his ..

So People ~~stop smsing and tell mi u see him in the shOw .. i know ~~~
So many frens in tt show..
Edwin , Joe etc ...LOL

我以把对他的爱放开了。。。。。。

PUKE BLood MoneEy GONE~

TODAY spend so MUCH of $$$$!
so XIn tong !!
I withdraw $300
then nw.. in my pocket..
i left.. $5 ...

Kaozz.. Went Beach Road today for a MAJor Shopping Session with My Funka Group :" Dance BattaLion"

Guess What we buy ALL together !?
Wow~

1. (7) Army Boots
2. (7 )Brown Cargo Pants
3. (2) 3/4 Quarter Cargo
4. (1) Tee Shirt

of cos.. Not all my thing la..

Basicly ... i got buy :Tee shirt , Brown Cargo , Army bootz

And help some plp pay for bootz and cargo ..
then tt's it ...All my mONEY gone in 15 sec
But..of cos getting the money back de
arbo .. SLAP them ar..


be prepared to spend more $$$~
sian ..

QIAN NAN ZHUAN~~~

NO MOOD!

WORK
I got no mood to work ..
shUCk la..
HW?
Holiday > woRk > holiday > work ~~
no FUn at all~~

DANCE
Still can't be committed to working life..
Still wan play sia..
I rather study ..
but..
idun like exam~~
aiYA~~
fan si ren ..
Dance dance dance..
dancing also so fun ~~
talking about dance..
shucK again ..
got nt much time left..
ONLY got 64 DAYS to FUNKAMANIA PRELIM!!

kaozz...
dun think is a lot lor..
muz buck up~

FRENSHIP
Still the same Issue..
hope it can be solve..
hope i can find the solution to untie the knot ..

SLEEP
oK~ is 2.18am
got to go sleep~

心病

small thing ......
U see ..
u know what's going on ..
tt's 心解。。。。
I'm hurt by the fact..
in depth ..

The more i mention it..
tears started to Gathered in my eyes.....
Is sad..really..
The worst is..
it Seems OK le.. Problem solve ..
but deep down .. is NT..
what i can do is juz .." 嘆一口氣”
and turn my attendtion to other thing .. talk to someone..
Doubt i will be happy .. for a long time ..

When did i really truely smile?

Silence ... is Scary

Silence .. alone ..
Mind starts wondering ..
Something bounds to be bothering me..
I know wat is it..
the 2 main thing ....
or should i say 2.5 thing...
Is juz filling up my mind .. when i walked alone..

1. ____
2. ____ & _

For 2 ..
Is still nt Solved yet..
is still hanging there..
is bothering me..
but..
Can't do anything yet..
Nothing is bring up .
so .. Shall nt bring up ba....

for 1.
Juz HOpe tt it stays still in tt position ba..
dun Crack around and sharp pain me..

BTW .. i juz removed my tag board..
cos..
Think tt's no reason for Any ScOlding / Encouragement / Crap ... Bla bla bla..
whatever shit ..
I live in my own world ..

Hope it Dun ..

History will NOT repeat itself ..
i won't let it ..
Even if i die tryign ..
my last chances.. nt gonna let it ruined it..
but i'm .....................Scared..
I already dun feel good today ..
Its like making fun of me ..
Making me.. lost my concentration ..
my focus is all on it ..
Pls..
TO :"THAT THING"
U wanna fool around with me pls.. do it next yr ..
Nw is nt the time ...
Stop pestering me..
GO away !
I can conquer the pain !
But nt the fear ...~
Chances ain't meant to be throw away like tt..

The suffering u gave me..
I will nv forget ..
Dun come to me again ..
I begged u ..